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Kinko and Community
May. 3rd, 2015 11:09 pmI was commenting to my partner and others that this weekend and being involved in the setup and support has really caused a huge jump in my overall sense of comfort and connection with the community. There's nothing like working with people during stressful times to create that, and it's something I enjoy immensely regardless of which of my communities it's happening in. I was also thinking about why this is a community that feels like "home" to me...
Although I certainly wasn't everywhere, and no community is perfect, I did not once this weekend hear sexist comments in my vicinity. I didn't hear body-shaming, or pressure for gender conformity, or kink-shaming. Negotiation and awareness of active consent were all around me, not just for scenes, but in general interactions, and I LOVE that. In general, I think the awareness of the variety of sexualities helps us remember how different we all are in so many ways, and provides frameworks for appreciating that rather than trying to minimize it. The awareness of need for aftercare for things like event drop, not just direct play-related drop, is something more communities need, too.
I also felt clearly recognized and deeply affirmed many times over, and appreciated the opportunity to comfortably flirt, explore, and enjoy others' sexual energy while I continue to get to know people. I got to show off a bit, and be seen at my best, most in my element, and that's always fun. I had more excellent conversations that I can count, and that's priceless to me. Despite the physical and psychological stress of the work, this has been such a profound spiritual holiday for me, for all those reasons.
Edit to add: Can't believe I forgot to mention all the new things I learned, and potential new kinks I got titillated with! I got to watch some excellent educators in action, see various forms of play I haven't before. That was all wonderfully stimulating in a multitude of ways, and has left my brain so full of chewy thinky-thoughts to play with.
Although I certainly wasn't everywhere, and no community is perfect, I did not once this weekend hear sexist comments in my vicinity. I didn't hear body-shaming, or pressure for gender conformity, or kink-shaming. Negotiation and awareness of active consent were all around me, not just for scenes, but in general interactions, and I LOVE that. In general, I think the awareness of the variety of sexualities helps us remember how different we all are in so many ways, and provides frameworks for appreciating that rather than trying to minimize it. The awareness of need for aftercare for things like event drop, not just direct play-related drop, is something more communities need, too.
I also felt clearly recognized and deeply affirmed many times over, and appreciated the opportunity to comfortably flirt, explore, and enjoy others' sexual energy while I continue to get to know people. I got to show off a bit, and be seen at my best, most in my element, and that's always fun. I had more excellent conversations that I can count, and that's priceless to me. Despite the physical and psychological stress of the work, this has been such a profound spiritual holiday for me, for all those reasons.
Edit to add: Can't believe I forgot to mention all the new things I learned, and potential new kinks I got titillated with! I got to watch some excellent educators in action, see various forms of play I haven't before. That was all wonderfully stimulating in a multitude of ways, and has left my brain so full of chewy thinky-thoughts to play with.
