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Reality check?
Jul. 5th, 2010 01:35 amI could use some perspective, particularly from queer/trans friends and folks who are good at identifying/discussing issues of privilege. I'm looking for honest critique/feedback, not just reassurance. I don't expect I'm never going to be a dipshit, but trans issues matter immensely to me, and I'd like to sort out where and how I'm being dipshitty so I can try not to repeat this particular instance of it in my attempts to be a decent ally.
Over here, in a discussion of Sylvia Riviera on ONTD_feminism, I screwed up and derailed by bringing up the article author's bi-exclusive language as the central element of my comment. I thought I'd realized my fuck-up and apologized pretty quickly, but it's since devolved into quite a shitstorm. I'm now trying to sort out legitimate critique of my perspective from some pretty blatant and nasty biphobia, and I don't think it's productive for me to continue trying to do that over there; it'll just continue the derailing, and I'm having progressively more trouble staying calm and steering away from a flamewar and toward some productive discussion.
Critique of any and all elements of my interaction is welcome, but on a practical level, I'm trying to sort out two particular issues that've arisen. Firstly, I'm looking for a way to talk about the bi and trans communities without the implication that there aren't plenty of people who fall into both. I didn't think my language implied that, but several people have read it that way, so I need to look at that. Secondly, and more importantly, there's the issue of exclusion from the mainstream GL community, where I've obviously hit a major nerve with a number of people. Obviously, there are huge differences in the general "generic" experience of being bi, and the general "generic" experience of being trans (to the extent one can talk about any such thing, and noting that this again brings up issue number one). I don't believe I claimed any kind of equivalence of privilege overall, but I did say that I thought our experiences in terms of the GL(bt) community and exclusion were similar, and a good locus for coalition-building, and was thoroughly shot down, but not in any way that clarified to me why they disagree (except for the comment that goes off on "you bi people think it's all about the language", which is too inaccurate to my views to be particularly helpful -- I think there's a hell of a lot more to activism than language, but I think language is important too). So I really do need more understanding of that.
Edit to add: Anyone who's come over here from the original discussion is welcome to join the conversation as well.
Over here, in a discussion of Sylvia Riviera on ONTD_feminism, I screwed up and derailed by bringing up the article author's bi-exclusive language as the central element of my comment. I thought I'd realized my fuck-up and apologized pretty quickly, but it's since devolved into quite a shitstorm. I'm now trying to sort out legitimate critique of my perspective from some pretty blatant and nasty biphobia, and I don't think it's productive for me to continue trying to do that over there; it'll just continue the derailing, and I'm having progressively more trouble staying calm and steering away from a flamewar and toward some productive discussion.
Critique of any and all elements of my interaction is welcome, but on a practical level, I'm trying to sort out two particular issues that've arisen. Firstly, I'm looking for a way to talk about the bi and trans communities without the implication that there aren't plenty of people who fall into both. I didn't think my language implied that, but several people have read it that way, so I need to look at that. Secondly, and more importantly, there's the issue of exclusion from the mainstream GL community, where I've obviously hit a major nerve with a number of people. Obviously, there are huge differences in the general "generic" experience of being bi, and the general "generic" experience of being trans (to the extent one can talk about any such thing, and noting that this again brings up issue number one). I don't believe I claimed any kind of equivalence of privilege overall, but I did say that I thought our experiences in terms of the GL(bt) community and exclusion were similar, and a good locus for coalition-building, and was thoroughly shot down, but not in any way that clarified to me why they disagree (except for the comment that goes off on "you bi people think it's all about the language", which is too inaccurate to my views to be particularly helpful -- I think there's a hell of a lot more to activism than language, but I think language is important too). So I really do need more understanding of that.
Edit to add: Anyone who's come over here from the original discussion is welcome to join the conversation as well.
